Wednesday, September 6, 2023

How to Keep From Failing in Retirement

Advance mental preparation to retire

Knowing when it is time to Retire

Advance preparation financially

    Budget for the future

    Changes in spending in retirement

    Three Phases of Retirement

        Go-go

        Slow-go

        No-go

Reasons to Retire

    Disability

    Forced retirement

    Planned retirement

Concept of Redirection as opposed to Retirement

Preventing failure in Retirement

    Purpose VS Identity- your why in life


How not to fail in Retirement  Written in 2017

 

While I certainly don’t ascribe to or follow Eastern mysticism, retirement seems to follow the Tao’s yin and yang duality philosophy.  The yin/yang is described as opposites being connected and interrelated like dark and light, good and bad, etc.  Work and retirement seems to be that way also with opposites being connected. I checked in the Bible to see if there was some guidance.  There is very little indications that retirement was considered in the Old and New Testament except for some of the temple positions.  So the Bible didn’t provide much guidance and some of those dudes worked past 120 years old with some regularity. 

  I have been studying and reading prior to and since my retirement and the more I look at the issue the more complex it seems.  The fact is that it is an abrupt change in life.  You can’t really be partially retired.  To your coworkers you’re either pulling your share or your dogging.  Either you are retired or you are not.  Trying to slow down didn’t work very well for me.

I began my process almost 18 months before I started my retirement.  I began reading everything I could on the topic much like I approached my career.  I began quizzing everyone I know who had recently retired and some who had been retired for a while.  Asking what they did, how they decided, what they were doing differently now and how they felt.  The thing that I have learned is that no two retirements are the same.  I found it helpful to tell someone about my plans although I didn’t tell my staff until 6 months and the patients I was only able to give a month warning.  While the mental and psychological preparation was difficult, you can’t omit the physical preparation.  I am afraid that I approached the finish line like the marathon runner on fumes.  The last few years I didn’t make exercise as big a priority as I should and now it is much more difficult to make up for lost time.

It is hard and it is easy.  It is easy in that you just stop going to work and you are retired.  The financial part was actually easier than I thought.  While early in my career the financial part was the most daunting part of the retirement picture.  We were fortunate to have great counsel from a financial planner that helped set us a plan that we stuck too.  He was able to tell me when enough was enough.  It is hard in that the most of the time there is really no plan or procedure after the actual stopping your job.  No training occurs for retirement.  It causes joy and sadness.  Most of us are lucky enough to love what we do and we are the fortunate ones.  Some people are anxious to retire and never look back.  Retiring certainly allows us to do things we weren’t able to do before or maybe not as often, so that part is fun.  Bur sometimes what we did was fun or at least part of it.  Work is kind of like Italian dressing.  When you are working, you are constantly shaking the jar and all the particles floating around are like the good and bad things of your work.  When you retire, the bad particles settle and aren’t as noticeable as before but you can definitely taste the difference.

The lack of an organized schedule was one of the hardest things I dealt with upon retiring.  Being free to do whatever you want is much like the caged bird the when the door is opened to his cage, he just sits there looking at the door to freedom.

Not everyone retires for the same reason.  Health forces some to retire and it can be unanticipated and undesired.  The transition for those is much more difficult until the realities of the reason for their retirement sets are accepted.  The responsibilities of work that are lessened by retirement can ease the physical, emotional and mental stress that sometimes you don’t realize you have til its gone.  That defense mechanism is very strong while you work.  With a change in schedule and responsibilities sometimes comes over commitments to new opportunities.  It is easy to become too busy too quickly.  Some suggest to not to commit to long term obligations until 6 months of retirement pass.

There is a clear distinction between quitting, giving up and retirement.  Not in what you do afterwards but how your see yourself.  We are encouraged to never give up, don’t quit for all our lives.  So, one has to mentally convince yourself that you have retired not quit!  It also takes time to adjust to the change from bread winner to bread eater.  We have been encouraged to save to build and accumulate.  Retirement signals that you reached the point of becoming a consumer of the storehouse we constructed and truly have begun the downhill slide.  That is a very difficult spot to reach where you say I have enough.  In order to do so you must be a planner and a plodder or a lottery winner.  It is not in our DNA to deny ourselves for the long term and then just turn that off.  I found it difficult to get used to not having people constantly ask my opinion or insights.  While it was sometimes bothersome, when it was gone it was eerie!

So what do you do?  If you are fortunate enough to be able to see and achieve the finish line of your career, than take some time to rest, think and reflect before jumping back into something.  Journaling seems to be helpful in sorting thru priorities.  Take 3-6 months before making big commitments, but don’t do nothing.  By all means don’t fail at retirement.  That would be defined as going back to work when you didn’t have too or need or because you are bored.  Accepting a new job or position takes on a new reality when you know you don’t have to or need to work.  Take time to flesh out your retirement plans.  I find that continuing to set goals for myself is helpful to be able to check my progress.  Also, having an accountability partner is helpful, sometimes for both of you.  It can be someone who is either ahead of you or behind you.  Both can be beneficial.

Then start looking forward.  Look onward to new opportunities, new adventures.  Like the old saying, “Sometimes you have to do the things you don’t want to do when you don’t want to do them, so that you will be able to do the things you want to do when you want to do them.” 





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